Hi, you good looking piece of shit! What pain are you up to this time? Ordering a cappuccino when what you really crave is a refreshing glass of orange juice? Or, going out in a T-shirt when you know damn well that it’s going to get chilly? You have such a spicy (pun intended) way of reminding me of…me.
Not ever getting comfortable, or even wanting to be comfortable…Like, fully in peace, fully loved and fully…full. Like the way you felt in that breezy summer day laying by the beach feeling the hot pebbles on your back. Like the way you felt when someone tucked you in, in the warmest fluffiest bed, after a long day of hiking… But hey, not ever getting comfortable makes you grow. Not ever getting comfortable is what makes you stay up in the game, always moving, always learning, always striving for more. Or at least this is how you lie to yourself.
The ugly truth is that you do not know how to get comfortable. No one really taught you that. No one really provided the net of security for you to get comfy. No one tucked you in…you tucked yourself in and felt lonely in doing so and said yet another lie to yourself: Oh, solitude is bliss.
You start speaking but I already know what you really want to (but are not going to) say. You start speaking and I hate that I get you. Hate that I get you even more than I used to get myself. You start speaking and I despise the fact that I know how to help you but cannot really help myself. You start speaking and I remember why I started writing once again. Or, as I like to say it: vomiting my thoughts and feelings again. You start speaking and I understand more and more that for people like us, there is no comfort, no twin flame and no happy-ending love story…until…
we love ourselves. As a matter of fact, we avoid loving ourselves so much that we fall in “love” each and every time with the persons that remind us of us. We give all that love and understanding to those ugly parts of them, trying to heal them as if that would also heal us. Or…maybe it DOES heal us!
So, hi my mirror self. You’re looking damn fine today! Have you got any ugly parts so that I can love them in your place?